same problem. I am in Habshan, Abu Dhabi. IM works fine but get the same message - refused connection - in audio and video.
It was suggested by .mac support that the Aztech modem I got from Etisalat was the problem (is was pretty poor) so I bought a US robotics modem and get the same problems.
The mac support guy in the UK gave up with me.
Don't know where to get help.